We made it through Christmas & the funeral of Chris’ mom. Because we saw her the week before they were killed, we had not yet had to tell her about the accident. I’m so glad she was spared that pain & suffering. When she passed away in her sleep soon after a happy visit with her daughter & son-in-law, we could imagine her surprise when they greeted her in heaven. We could smile when we thought about her years of physical suffering with MS & strokes melting away & her new body – restored, renewed & dancing. There were two occasions in the weeks just before she died when God showed me deer – not in the pair that I asked for, but in groups of three. Now I know who the third represented.
I think after all that was over, I expected to feel some relief. I leaned into the hard, & I embraced the joy where I could find it. But coming home from our trip to an empty house was crushing. Going into a new year means leaving them behind in the last one, & I guess the human heart, although it knows the truth, somehow imagines … if I can do a good enough job getting through this heartache — this nightmare — I’ll be rewarded with their return. Right?? Seems reasonable! It’s like that little kid on a long trip asking his parents, “Are we there yet?” Again and again and again.
God has blessed me beyond rational belief with the best people in the world. They somehow know exactly when to reach out and exactly what will help the most in the worst moments. I’ve been saved in a thousand different ways. That night, my savior came bearing Pitch Perfect, Twizzlers & warm hugs. Thank you, Jesus.
I got my 2022 word right on time this year. It is … drumroll please … “NEW.” As in: Watch. Wait. See the new thing I’m doing. He’s making a way. I have no idea how it will look. I don’t need to know. (Well, let’s be honest — I really do, but I have to trust that He will see to it!) And because I’ve had a trying road, I believe I’m entitled to an extra word this year. It is “RESTORE.”
I’ve become a terrible little pessimist lately, always expecting bad news. Expecting the worst. So when I got a call from our nephew last week & he started out with the words, “Laine & I are in the hospital” … I braced myself for the worst. Instead, I received news that was possibly the best combination of NEW and RESTORE that I could have imagined. Meet Evlynne Libby… her beautiful face has brought so much joy to our family already. (For those of you who have followed us this far, Evlynne Libby’s big sister Ainsley was the little angel in jelly shoes who comforted Cate & me the night before the funeral. These two sisters have some big callings on their lives!)
I shared this song with Evlynne’s parents.
I’m holding on to it tightly.