We never talked about the scenario I’m now living in. I guess we never considered that we wouldn’t have more time. But one thing I do remember him saying was, “I don’t think there should be a celebration of the day someone died.” He probably didn’t get the nuance of letting people know you’re thinking of them and their person on significant dates — not celebrating exactly — but he was kind of a black and white thinker sometimes. It’s stuck with me nonetheless.
As we come up on June 26, people have asked what I want to do that day. My goodness, we’re covered in so much love! So much. It touches me deeply that the people who love us are asking the question and are more than willing to enter into that moment with us. I don’t know the answer. I’ve never done this before.
I was listening to a podcast recently with the author of a book called Gifts from Grief. She hit the perfect chord with my heart of honoring your people and your loss while also finding the joy and positive things that are still in store for your life. Thinking about the qualities that you loved and admired about them & bringing those into your everyday life keeps them alive. It keeps us connected. And that’s what I really want.
It’s one of the things I love most about hanging out with Libby’s friends. They’re so good at this. This talking about her, telling stories, bringing her up in conversation. Their hearts are incredibly open, & I drink that up when I’m around them. They’re not afraid to laugh. Or cry. They just feel it all & let it flow through, like a river.
Anytime I hear a story about her or about Chris from his friends and colleagues, I’m just so crazy proud of them. Some people, when they leave this earth, will have left behind a legacy of death, destruction and divisiveness. People will remember them because of the pain they inflicted. But our two? They left behind humor, compassion, intelligence, respect and kindness. They left behind LOVE. I mean, what could be better than that?? So if I could have my pick of what you can do for Cate & me on June 26, it would be to continue to share your stories with us. And if Chris & Libby changed you for the better in some way, take that thing you admired about them into your own life & give it away to someone else.
That’s my celebration, and I’m happy to have it. :)) ❤️🌈
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“Glitter”
By Patrick Droney
String of lights on the door
Welcome back to your life
This is worth living for
There’s so much left in store
And we don’t
Get to choose
Who we get to love
Or who it is we’re gonna lose
Or what breaks our heart in two
But no one really dies if the love remains
‘Cause nothing that dies really goes away
See grief it’s just like glitter
It’s hard to brush away
Bright light and it still shimmers
Like it was yesterday
And if falls like confetti
All of the memories explode like a hand grenade
And it’s sweet and it’s bitter
Grief it’s like glitter
Oh what a mess it makes
What a mess it makes
Past denial and the rage
The what if and the praying on the hardest days
You accept what you can’t change
I think life’s a party
Something you should celebrate
Some people leave early
And others get to stay
And hearts they burst like fireworks
At the end of the parade
See grief it’s just like glitter
It’s hard to brush away
Bright light and it still shimmers
Like it was yesterday
And it falls like confetti
All of the memories explode like a hand grenade
And it’s sweet and it’s bitter
Grief it’s like glitter
Oh what a mess it makes
What a mess it makes
