I was remembering today that back in the early months after the accident, I was pretty scared of feeling too much. If I started heading too far down pain’s path, I felt like this monster tidal wave was going to crash over me & pull me out to sea. The physical feeling of not being able to breathe was fresh in my memory from the accident, and I had no desire to experience it again.
God has been kind in this regard. He’s let me feel the pain in short, bearable bursts, and then He’s healed it quickly. I’ve learned that if I can tolerate it & roll with the it for the duration, the worst of it is over in a few minutes. And I can keep going. In this way, He’s taught me to trust that He has my back & I will live through this.
On the morning of Libby’s birthday, I had a dream or saw a vision maybe in the time between sleep and wakefulness. I was walking in the city. A huge column of water bore down on me from the sky. I heard a voice say, just let it come through. Instead of fearing the wall of water, I let it in & through me. I felt a sense of both control & peace. As a smart person pointed out to me, water is cleansing. It also heals.
This is survivable.
❤️ Good night.